Jurassic Park III - Film Review
Jurassic Park III is directed by Joe Johnston and stars Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni, Allesandro Nivola, Trevor Morgan, and Michael Jeter.
Plot
A decidedly odd couple with ulterior motives convince Dr. Grant (Sam Neill) to go to Isla Sorna, resulting in an unexpected landing, and unexpected new inhabitants on the island.
Review
This movie sucks. It is not good. And there are reasons for it sucking.
The plot is once again, people going to an island full of dinosaurs, but for dumb reasons. This couple, Paul (William H. Macy) and Amanda (Téa Leoni) Kirby's kid is stranded on Isla Sorna after going kitesurfing with a friend of theirs and he's living in an abandoned plane. They tell Alan that they're wanting to go to Isla Sorna for their anniversary and they want him to be their guide because he's been on that island before (he hasn't) and they give him a paycheck to go there. That's probably how they got Sam Neill to agree to be in the movie. Also, sometime after Alan finds out why they brought him onto the island, he asks Paul what he really does, and he says that he runs a paint and tile store.
It's also just got some really dumb moments, like Alan asleep on the plane and a velociraptor says his name. Just why?
Also, there's one scene where Billy (Allesandro Nivola) steals velociraptor eggs so he could sell them, and when Alan finds out about this, he tells him that the velociraptors will find them with the eggs, and then he keeps them.
Apparently Alan Grant and Ellie (Laura Dern, she's back in the movie) are broken up, and Alan tries to teach dinosaurs to her son which she has with her new husband. The movie pretty much gives no reason as to why Alan and Ellie are broken up, they just are. Apparently Joe Johnston didn't really see them as a couple. But whatever, that's the least of this movie's problems.
I also want to mention, that when Alan and Eric (Trevor Morgan) find Eric's parents, they're separated by a metal fence with spikes on top. This is on Isla Sorna. In The Lost World: Jurassic Park John Hammond says that there are no fences on that island, so why is there a fence on here.
I also have some issues with the dinosaurs, while they look cool, especially the T-rex vs spinosaurus fight, why do the raptors look different in this movie than the other two? I know about raptors having feathers, but it's the same island as the last one, so why the change? And don't say "evolution", we all know evolution is not real. But being serious, evolution is a long process that takes millions of years, and this came out just four years after The Lost World.
Also, the walkway scene is ok, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
Now let's talk about the characters. Asides from Sam Neill as Alan Grant, but he feels like a shadow of his character in the first movie. I don't like these characters.
Tea Leoni as Amanda Kirby is one of my least favorite characters in all of Jurassic Park. She is absolutely annoying whenever she screams, and she's dumb too. She shouts her sons name. Into a megaphone. On an island. Full of dinosaurs. That can hear her.
I can't think of much to say about William H. Macy as Paul Kirby, or Michael Jeter as whoever he played. All I know about the latter is that he played Mr. Noodle on Seasame Street.
Allesandro Nivola is ok as Billy, but I already mentioned my problem with him and the velociraptor eggs. He does save Eric from a pteranodon, but I didn't care.
Overall, Jurassic Park III is not a good movie. It is definitely the worst of the entire series. I can definitely see why this killed the franchise for 14 years before Jurassic World comes out, which is my next review.
Jurassic Park III gets a 4/10.
Previous review - The Lost World: Jurassic Park
Next review - Jurassic World
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